Hunny I want you

I came to Balgüe with only one intention – to catch a zopilote. I’ve been studying the habits of these nasty looking birds for quit a while now, Guzman. When I’m traveling I see them a lot beside the road, cleaning up the sad remains of a cow, horse or donkey, hit by a car or a massive Kenworth truck. I like to take pictures of these cleaning creatures. The birds signify death in a gracious way. But they’re shy. So, when I climb off the Guzzi I slowly approach them, very slowly, like a crawling tiger. When I make a sudden move, even with my pinky, they’re gone and I lose the picture. Or I wait half an hour in the burning sun and sometimes they return to their meal. It’s all about confidence, you see Guzman. So, I had this picture in mind, the image of a zopilote just before he lands on the gast-tank of the Moto Guzzi, his wings spread out and all. I had to go to an isolated area were people are friendly. I consider it too dangerous to wait a day beside the road in a remote area all by myself. We’re still in Centro America. So I went to the island Ometepe near the border of Costa Rica and ended up in this little town called Balgüe.

I liked Balgüe at first sight. It’s dusty, small, only 1632 inhabitants spread out over 263 families, and it has this easygoing atmosphere. It’s like going back a hundred years in time. People were friendly to me at the beginning. Balgüe is beautiful; the volcanoes Conception and Madera surround it. A hundred meters distance of my hospedaje there’s the lake of Nicaragua, one of the biggest sweet water lakes in the world. Balgüe was the ideal place to base myself for a couple of days and to ‘hunt’ for this zopilote-picture. It turned out to be the most ridiculous assignment I gave myself ever. It started with the meat. I bought five kilos of cow remains – nasty stuff like lungs and throat – and put it in a plastic bag to let it rot for a day or two on the roof of the hospedaje (lost all the Zopilote-adventure pictures, tough). Zopilotes like their meat well done, you see Guzman. But fuck, the meat smelled big time like a mass grave filled with dead grannies. When I left town, the meat pilled up at the back of the bike, to search for a location I was surrounded by a cloud of flies and the dogs were chasing me all over the place. So I revved up the bike and went to Costa Azul, a small beach seven kilometers from Balgüe. I positioned the bike on the beach, put meat on the tank and some in front as an extra bate. I could smell the rotting meat from a fifty meters distance, no lie. I waited and after an hour or so the first zopilote was making circles, gently carried by the current of the air. I liked that part. You set something up and animals you only saw in a zoo before actually respond. Then came the second, the third, the fourth… When after half an hour a flock of zopilotes landed in front of the bike I thought the picture was just a matter of time.
Then the dogs closed in.

Kicking balls
I mean, when I can smell the meat from a distance, dogs surely can. And most of the time they’re hungry. So, instead of hunting zopilotes I was chasing dogs all day. They stole the goddamned meat fifteen times and fifteen times I got it back. Throwing stones, kicking their balls and all. The zopilotes never came back that day. There was too much confusion on the beach. BerthalinaThe other day was an exact copy with one difference, the dogs got away with meat the moment I took a leak. So the dogs won eventually and I realized that for the moment the picture only exist in my head. Anyway, the dogs taught me a lesson, that it’s stupid to take pictures of animals when you’re surrounded by lovely people who are willing to pose for you any time you ask them to. So I gave myself another assignment. While making it, I had my friend Maurice the talented architect from Amsterdam in mind. We were drinking mates for years. Then he got a baby and life changed drastically. What remained was our daily break – we both work for ourselves and live practically next door – and that’s the game Barricade. It’s actually a game for children, but he, age doesn’t matter when you’re having fun. We must’ve played it 1567 times and I won at least 1563 times. Anyway, I know what he misses in life. So, this one is for you Centuri

PS Guzman, you need to hear the music. Do you? Man, I´ll rest my case.

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  1. Oyoyoyoyoy…..ik denk niet dat Maurice hier snel op gaat reageren….net dat ie anders wel snel is 😉 Remember “blufpoker”??
    Men, jammer dat je geen foto’s van die honden genomen hebt, is toch ook leuk!
    Ga je echt naar New York??? Moet toch een totale shock zijn, je wil vast niet meer terug….
    Hoe is het met TAL?

    According to Luc – 22:28 (op 12 April ’06)
  2. He Luc, kun je het filmpje zien. Weet niet meer hoe het moet?

    According to Paul – 22:34 (op 12 April ’06)
  3. good story paul….
    im in granada next week going to costa rica….
    take care dear, well be in touch…

    According to tal – 23:01 (op 12 April ’06)
  4. paul geen filmpje te zien hoor!

    According to mir – 07:14 (op 13 April ’06)
  5. hier ook geen filmpje te zien hoor Paul.
    voer je de spanning op?

    According to nico – 08:56 (op 13 April ’06)
  6. Nop, no movie babe

    According to ilana – 12:26 (op 13 April ’06)
  7. Sorry Paul, was aan het mee hiven met een of andere buurman met wireless, ik heb dat zelf niet thuis namelijk, en toen viel die verdomde verbinding weg, das het nadeel natuurlijk…Any way, geen filmpje dus. Helaas. Je hebt me erg nieuwsgierig gemaakt!
    Was vorige week in Italie aan het Lago Magiore, ik keek over het meer en zag die bergen met nevels er om heen, het blauwe water, de bloemen en de bomen met de ontluikende bloesem…alleen die verdomde Italianen, verder geweldig!
    Kom je al in de buurt van Alpaca country??
    Goeie reis naar New York, is vanuit Canada ook niet echt ver toch??
    Grtz Luc

    According to Luc – 19:25 (op 13 April ’06)
  8. Damn, so nobody can see the slowmotion movie. that´s too bad. Don´t know what I did wrong, since I could see it when I clicked Centuri. What a waste of money to. Since internet is damn expensive down here. I asked my webmaster to have a look. Hope he can fix it. Trouwens, niks meer van New York gehoord. Dooie mus, wederom. In het algemeen beloven mensen me wel vaker wat. KUT KRO voorop. Tot gauw. Mazzel

    According to Paul – 18:49 (op 14 April ’06)
  9. Ach, New York valt toch tegen joh. Bovenop het Empire State building even naar beneden kijken. Hoog ja, na een minuutje ben je er al zat van. Beetje struinen tussen wolkenkrabbers. Ook hoog. En mensen, veel. Verkeer ook. Man, ik zou er als ik jou was een flink eind uit de buurt blijven. Met jouw neiging tot blijven hangen op plekken ben je beter af in een of ander gehucht. New York is te ‘gevaarlijk’ als je begrijpt wat ik bedoel.

    According to tIM – 19:54 (op 14 April ’06)
  10. This is yer best story yet laddie !!!!

    I’m in deep shit at the moment, producing on ingrids tv show to make sure that it actually airs on time. I’ll make sure i get you a version to watch!

    According to Robbie – 07:29 (op 15 April ’06)
  11. Nou geen woord over een vliegticket van onze Robbie….

    According to Luc – 11:44 (op 15 April ’06)
  12. Vrolijk pasen!

    According to mir – 08:47 (op 16 April ’06)
  13. Probably the best friends you ever can ever have are situated in good old yeurop. The classic components of love and trust are the basic instincts of our coherent society, of our friendship. Furthermore, the nicest and longestlegged easy to grasp women are to be found in the Netherlands, if we skip Middle America, because they are short, and mostly fat.

    According to pigo de Conecho – 15:36 (op 16 April ’06)
  14. Well Guzman (Pigo), the whole world knows that I adore ´fat´ women. So we are not in a hurry. I will try to upload the slow motion movie again. So lets see. Ciao

    According to Paul – 19:44 (op 17 April ’06)
  15. Most deeply curious I am, cause you know I am short too. And, as you understand Paulito, slow movies are my favourites. I wait. Manana, Cabrito!

    According to pigo de Conecho – 00:09 (op 18 April ’06)
  16. Dear Paul,
    We hebben je foto’s gezien en weten dat het in het echt nog mooier is.
    Het is hier koud en we missen Ometepe.
    Zit je nog in dezelfde plaats? We hebben elkaar helaas niet meer gezien, maar dat komt wel weer.
    Hartelijke groet en een ned. knuffel van Piet en Minke.

    According to Minke – 11:25 (op 01 Mei ’06)

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